| Deep Breath |
[24 Oct 2009|11:59pm] |
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Stella Is in kitty hospital. Hopefully she will be out tomorrow. I hope to leave for south Carolina on Monday and not tomorrow. The pain is not subsiding at the moment. Goodnight you. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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| Missed vibrations |
[23 Oct 2009|11:37pm] |
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mood |
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Ready |
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music |
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Monsters of Folk |
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You made me laugh. A lot last night. It was amazing. I hate missing your phone calls. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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| Ahead of the Curve |
[28 Sep 2009|01:11am] |
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mood |
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Sleepy |
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music |
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Monsters of Folk |
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Falling asleep on my aunts couch. This has a lot of memories and even including qyou. The vulnerability. Blood deep. I loved it, I pushed it, I wanted it, I lost it. But hopeully not for good. You put a smile on my face and that's just about what I'm looking for. This has pretty much summed it all up the last few days, which included a long journey from South Carolina to Northeastern Ohio: Another perfect day
They keep piling up
I got happiness that I can’t maintain
Some beginner’s luck I had shoes to fill
Walking barefoot now
Can’t tell north from south
But no split hair’s gonna get me down, no I’m stayin’ above the flat line
And I’m ahead of the curve
Take a piece of the sunshine with me
On a red-eye flight to another world It isn’t any trouble
If you wanna come with me
I know it’s out the question, honey
But I sure could use the company
And a place to be Now the sky is pink
Rooftop swimming pool
I’m not carefree, no
I’m free to care
I just never do All the bags are checked
And the reasons why
Yesterday lingers on
That’s the piece you keep when we say goodbye You can get what you want now
Knock it out of the park
Bury it by the river
Easy, there’s a search party
But it’s getting dark I won’t hold you to nothing
I wanna make that plain
Prob’ly end up a stranger and crazy
But I’m still hoping there’s another way
And a place to stay What a scene has got you sentimental
When the night comes, when the night comes loose
All the things you’ve put upon your mantle
What a shame, what a shame
It’s old news I’m staying above the flat line
I’m ahead of the curve
Take a piece of the sunshine with me on a all night drive to another world You can get what you want now
Knock it out of the park
Prob’ly end up a drifter and lonely
But I’m still hoping for a change of heart
And a place, a place, a place to start -Monsters of Folk Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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[21 Sep 2009|10:52am] |
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music |
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Ryan Adams - Somehow, Someday |
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I can't wrap my head around all of these thoughts and feelings and I'm tired of trying to. I'm ready to just let them play out and let them take me where I belong. Letting go, being free and not being scared of where it might take me. Spending time with my mom is more amazing than it has ever been, it's nice to look past differences and just love someone. Anyways, she loves Ryan Adams so we've got his station playing on Pandora and this song was just so fitting....
I want to tell you something
That I shouldve, long ago
I wish that you and I had those kids
Maybe bought us that home
I wish that we were stumbling fast
Down on irving and 14th street
I wish that we were still in your room
In your bed and you were holding me
cause there aint no way Ill ever stop from lovin you now
There aint no way Ill ever stop from lovin you now
No there aint no way and Im gonna try and show you somehow
Somehow, and Im gonna someday
I dreamt that you and I were still young
Laughing like little kids
Ill never know just how bad it hurt
Or what I did
I wish that we were stumbling fast
Down on irving and 6th
I wish we were still making plans
But now, theres nothing to fix
But there aint no way Ill ever stop from lovin you now
There aint no way Ill ever stop from lovin you now
No, there aint no way and Im gonna try and show you somehow
Somehow, and Im gonna someday
Someday...someday
Ah honey, someday
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| The return of something greater than the demand requires. |
[29 Apr 2007|09:58am] |
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It has been two years. Two years and eight days since I have thought about this livejournal. I believe that I like the concept of livejournal on a higher degree than I do myspace. I have lost respect for myspace, mainly because of the people - and how they let myspace rule their lives. (Disclaimer: all of my friends? Wonderbread. If you were not my friend and caused me drama on myspace, we would not be friends now would we?) Granit, I do believe there is a difference between those that cause the drama and those whom become victims of others' drama. I do have a whole philosophy about the dumbing down of myspace, but I feel that right now is not the time, therefore I am going to strongly elude this. I will say one thing to those who take myspace so seriously and those who are too afraid of so and so and this or that, grow up. Seriously, all this world needs is just a little 'grow up kick in the face.'
I spoke with a good friend last night, and by spoke I mean we sms'd. Which, perhaps in this day of technology could transcend into a sort of language of speak. Anyways, we were speaking back and forth and this revelation came over me. One which I am still trying to figure out. To be in a place that I love, to be in a place that substitutes for where I really want to be. Am I really where I want to be? You say you love where you are but I know where you truly want to be is not there. Am I going to where I want to be, where I love? I love the idea of history, and alley ways, and old books and lifeless pens but only to see where those before stood and what they were seeing. Except now, instead of seeing through the schoolbags and bicycles we're looking through the Ipods and Segways. Is this really what I am expecting? And if this is what I am expecting, am I going to be disappointed? Is this going to change my life and become a love that binds me like Dylan or Bukowski to LA? Or is it going to be a disappointment because where I really want to be is where you are. No, not the you that I was texting. But you, 490 miles northwest of the city that never sleeps. The city that will cover me like a blanket of noise and hope that the pills I take give me dreams of you and not panic pacing leaving a track of disappointment from my kitchen to my bed. Am I going where I want to be, or is where I want to be - with you. And where I am going, would this be heaven - if you were there. This is all grey to me. But I am pretty sure that I am right.
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[05 Apr 2005|02:47pm] |
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I can't help but be a little sad these days, a little melancholy. Perhaps I'm just sad over how happy I truly am. Or, maybe, I'm just sad. Life has taken a few awkward turns the past year, a few U turns, a few crashes into brick walls. A year ago I was looking forward to a road trip up to PA to fetch my brothers girlfriend from graduating college, now I'm looking forward to a camping trip in the hill country. I'm starting to make repetitious moves in life, though I won't be making one of them twice. I've spent a lot of weekends in hotel rooms this past year. A lot of hotel rooms in Texas. I've never really done that before, since I live here and all. I think that will be one of my goals, to stay in as many hotels as i can in my life and keep track of them. I'll start from when I was 21. (I'm still 21 FYI).
Hotel Derek
Hotel Icon
Magnolia Hotel
Hilton - Austin Downtown
Hilton - Austin Northside
Hilton - The Woodlands
Omni - Austin Downtown
San Jose Hotel - Austin (friday)
Help me out if I missed any, so thats 7 in 8 months...
Anyways, I'm at work right now inputing data into a repository on-line. So fucking ecstatic!
In the past 20 mins I decided that it's going to be NYC for birthday #22. My best friend is moving to Newark to be a flight attendant for Continental next month, so what better thing to do than go visit!
Ok, I can't write.
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| Long time no... |
[17 Feb 2005|08:13pm] |
It's been a while.
A long while.
I've made a lot of changes - for the better.
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| Old Feelings Still Ring True |
[06 Jun 2004|08:28am] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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Silence |
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I’ve got this imaginary day planned out; it’s the day when you come around. You’ll come walking up to my door, and I’ll meet you there with nothing less than eyes of love. I’d be nothing but pure for you. Just pure, just love. And the warmth you bring will fill this room with passion. The desire pouring from my fingertips would grace your face as I realize how much I adore you. We’d watch the sunset and drink wine until the bottles drained dry. All the while we’d talk, yeah we’d talk about the things that get stuck inside our head, and no we would never get bored. Then I’d light some candles and paint you a picture of a thousand stars lighting the dark sky above your head. Blow out the candles and you’d let me hold you into a euphoric dream state. And I would lie there, watching you sleep…in and out…in and out…overwhelmed with finally feeling complete.
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| Interesting. |
[09 May 2004|11:17pm] |
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mood |
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geeky |
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music |
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your enemies friends |
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This can lead to an interesting read..at least one I would hope for... ;o)
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[08 Dec 2003|09:19pm] |
Buh Humbug. I'm in such a bad mood. I'm lonely, I think. I know. I can't talk.
You absolutley love to be romantic...rose petals,
candles, lights dim... ah. Just being in the
arms of your significant other is enough for
you.
What type of SEX do You enjoy?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Help |
[01 Dec 2003|11:45am] |
It was two years ago today. He left. Never to be seen again, except laying still….lifeless.
It’s a sad day. It’s been a sad week....
On another note....
Everything I stood up for, I’m just to weak to keep standing anymore.
Reminiscing over old letters and old feelings.
Old songs, old poetry:
shaking fit
cold sweat
glossy eyes
staring through
reality
this life
for your
side
by mine
inconsistent
concentration
red to black
affiliation
distance kills
tight rope
pull
me
in
close.
I was never more inspired.
And it’s only this one person who can help me.
But, they’ve up and left.
I’m dead.
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| The Sickness |
[10 Nov 2003|09:46am] |
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mood |
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sick |
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music |
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American Football |
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I can't get rid of this sickness. As soon as I think i've kicked it, here it comes, full force, again. Ears, throat, head, stomach...you name it, i've got it.
Nothing a lil' doctors appointment in an hour shouldn't cure, except maybe them telling me that i'm past due for my tonsils to be removed again.
I have my computer up and running again so hopefully I will be updating more and more often...so I will stop getting the 'you never update' screams.....
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| Night Vision. |
[26 Apr 2003|11:30pm] |
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mood |
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mellow |
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music |
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Mercury Rev - Deserter's Songs |
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I used to ride bikes a lot. I knew every crack, bump, jump, branch, turn in the road there was. Tonight I knew nothing. It was dark, I was alone, riding my bike down Westgate. I kept having to make last minuite jerks, jumps, moves to get by. I didn't know the road, the terrain. It was dark, I couldn't see. On coming headlights blinded my night vision. I'm lucky to be alive, thank you bike god.
I've gotten a lot of excercise and sun this weekend thus far. I ride my bike a lot, I ride it to bus stops and then cheat for a few miles. I never had asthma before High School, and now it makes it hard to ride so much. Maybe if I continue to ride, I will get used to it. I hope so, I want to continue the adventure for a while. There should be a tri-athalon that competes between bikes, buses, and begging (for rides). By the time these two weeks are over, I might be able to win that race.
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| I was a... |
[24 Apr 2003|12:21am] |
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mood |
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sore |
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music |
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Whiskeytown - Easy Hearts |
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Knight Rider tonight. St. Edward's to William Cannon/Brodie. A scary bike ride for a 19 year old girl, or any year old person at all. Whisled at by hiding homeless people in the bushes, asked for condoms by big dude, honked at and degrated by a bus driver. My chain popped 2 times down hills and my legs were on fire up the millions of hills I was faced with on the way home. Never again, never. I don't get scared easily, but I was scared tonight.
Now the major presentation I have due tomorrow, is going to have to wait until morning. I'm far too sore and tired, let alone emotional about the whole thing to even think about school, or marketing at that.
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[26 Mar 2003|10:30pm] |
you are RYAN, you like lo-fi rock and roll and
drive a fucking truck. you also work at a
trendy record store and get all the girls. you
rock.
Which austin kid are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Let's see. My name is not Ryan, but I do date a boy named Ryan. I do like lo-fi rock and roll but I drive a jeep (I suppose that's close to a truck). I do not work at a trendy record store or any record store for that matter....I wish I did though. But I DO get all the GIRLS. Go figure, I don't know what it is. I don't try to. Last but not lease I DO ROCK! Take that motherfucker.
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| Now I can be considered hip.... |
[26 Mar 2003|01:24am] |
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mood |
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way too tired to live |
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music |
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silence is golden |
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right? Someone told me that if I was a member of livejournal then I would fit in. I hope that they were telling me the truth.
I just spent too long trying to figure out how to work this program that I am way to tired to even make an entry, or an entry worth the time of readers. Having said that, I will write in the morning. Hopefully I can be consistent with this, unlike my previous attempts.
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